New Beginnings
by LunaRowena
Summary: "I am not brooding." After a moment of silence, she sighed and looked back at him. Hiravias was still watching her expectantly. "Maybe I am brooding a little."


Pillars Prompts Weekly #0016: Pallegina, Snow, and Hope

Pallegina leaned on the balcony, looking down at the grounds of Caed Nua below. Snow fell lightly from the sky and was starting to stick to the roofs of the chapel and the craft hall. It was odd to be back here in such different circumstances. Behind her, she could hear the sounds of celebration still going on inside. She had come back to Caed Nua for the New Year's holiday because she… she didn't have anywhere else to go. But it was hard to face even her friends in her new identity, not as the fiercely proud Vailian she had been.

"You know, the party's inside." Hiravias leaned his shoulder against the balcony, the tips of his ears barely rising over the top.

She raised a single eyebrow at him. "You are out here, too."

"Yeah, well," he shrugged, "Eder's had a bit too much and started singing. There are many things I can tolerate but the butchering of 'The Ballad of Ondra and Abydon' is not one of them."

Her lips twitched. "You do not make a compelling argument for returning, _amico_."

"Might be better than standing out here brooding by yourself."

She quickly looked away, back out at Caed Nua below. "I am not brooding." After a moment of silence, she sighed and looked back at him. He was still watching her expectantly. "Maybe I am brooding a little."

He gave a lopsided grin. "The sound of your brooding could be heard down two flights of stairs." He nodded toward her breastplate. "I couldn't help but notice that your armor is looking less solar-ly illustrious these days."

Running her fingers over where the symbols of the five suns had been scoured, she sighed again. "My ducs did not take kindly to my rewriting of their trade agreement. I have been banished."

His ears twitched, dislodging the snow that had been accumulating on them. "I'm sorry, Pallegina."

She shrugged. "I disobeyed direct orders because I thought I knew better. It is to be expected." She traced her fingers through the snow piling on the balcony, ignoring the cold. "For a while, I was so angry. I blamed the ducs for being short sighted. I blamed the Watcher for not stopping me. But I have come to terms that it was my own doing." She pushed the snow off the edge, watching it fall down to lower parts of the keep. "I have left the Republics and joined the Kind Wayfarers. It is… good. I am doing good in the world, I know. It is just…"

"You're entire identity has changed and it's hard to adjust," he finished.

"Yes, exactly. I gave my life to the Republics and now…" she looked back at him. "You have gone through something similar, transitioning from Galawain to Wael, have you not?"

"Well," he ran his fingers through his hair, dislodging more flakes and making it more unruly, "that was a more gradual and self-imposed transition. But, yeah. I'm a different person now than when we met. But I don't think it's a bad thing, changing priorities. It's all a part of being alive: flexibility and adaption."

"Even when flexibility is painful."

"I think it's all part of what the gods have in store for us."

She snorted. "I do not understand how you can continue to follow the gods, knowing what we know about them now."

He chuckled. "Well, I won't get into a theological debate when I'm out here trying and failing to cheer you up, but I do agree that it's all kind of a pile of fucking shit."

Her mouth twitched into an actual half smile now. "I appreciate you trying."

"What are friends for? That, and it's funny watching the snow pile up on your feathers."

She ruffled her feathers, miffed, and snow fell down around her shoulders. "Just when I thought we were having a moment."

"Hey, hey, we were having a moment." He kicked her affectionately. "Just don't give up hope. Just because it's been fucking shit doesn't mean it's always going to be fucking shit. And if it is, give life a kick in the shins and demand better. If nothing else, you've still got us."

She smiled for real this time. "You all and your lovely singing voices."

"Hey, we aren't all Eder." He twitched an ear back in the direction of the hall. "Though speaking of him, he seems to have given up or maybe the Watcher convinced him to stop. I don't know if you've noticed, but it's rather cold out here and there's alcohol inside."

"You are not going to get me to sing next."

He winked at her, at least she assumed it was a wink even though he only had one eye. "What are friends for besides encouraging other friends to make questionable choices when under the effects of intoxication?"

"Being there to listen when life is 'fucking shit.'"

"I would give you a hug but I'm afraid you might kill me."

"Yes, no hugs." She turned around back towards the keep. "I think I am ready to go back inside now."

"Well, after you then, and we can have a toast to new beginnings."

"Yes, to new beginnings," and she squared her shoulders and strode back into the keep to rejoin the friends that loved her.


End file.
